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why I'm up again

Oct 30, 2014 6:14 AM

I was "diagnosed" a few months back...fibro? degenerative disc? menopause? stress? I've had chronic, daily pain for the last 3 years and just thought it was aging...seemed to creep up on me I'm so overwhelmed right now and sad. The old me who got down on the floor at a moments notice with my kids, who was flexible and while not a jock, was certainly mobile. The me who saw a future with possibilities...who enjoyed life is gone. I never know how I'll feel in the morning and I wake up so many times at night (like right now) that I'm in a constant fog. I work full time and have gotten by on shear willpower...so far. Finding this forum tonight, reading the stories of other has been of slight comfort. I have not really shared this with anyone in my life. I have always been the strong one, the one everyone else leaned on. Thanks for reading.

Oct 30, 2014 6:19 AM

Writing this all down and seeing it in print has been therapeutic...sorry to vent so much. Glad to have found this space!

Oct 30, 2014 10:30 AM

sorry to hear about your story. nothing as compelling as having to be strong when you know all you need to do is allow urself to be vulnerable. I have been leaving with fibromyalgia for 2 years now. the best thing I have learner so far is to be selfish and put myself first. those who regard me as strong will see that even at my lowest. when I push through all these symptoms and still manage to smile and say all is well. with fibro some days it's all about ur dreams but some it's just about keeping sane and just getting by. I force myself everyday to say not matter which day it is for me it is ok

Oct 30, 2014 6:28 PM

hi! Gosh your story sounds so similar to mine. I get very down and sad too to see the life I imagined be gone. Vent away! it is therapeutic to talk to similar people. I like this community. best wishes, Louise

Oct 31, 2014 1:39 AM

Thanks Louise and Benate for you comments and comraderie. Funny how isolated we can feel when we think we are the only one feeling a certain way or dealing with certain situations. Last night's pain was really bad, but today is ok. It is really grounding to remember to chart how I am feeling...just filter out the noise and pay attention.

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