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Wicked Accident Could be the End for Me

Apr 03, 2015 9:13 AM

So..I have fibromyalgia. Chronic fatigue. Endometrios. Scoliosis. Degenerative spine. Blown out both knees. 28 surgeries. Abusive marriage. Survived all that. Divorced. Got reality healthy. Was supporting my kids with no help from my dead beat ex. Built a great career and was working 70 hours a week. And then it happened. The stupidist freak accident. I have to do everything myself. Including yard work on Christmas Eve. I was trimming a tree with electric hedge trimmers when a friend walked up too close and too avoid hitting her I swung it back behind me right through my other hand. I'll never forget the sound of it thumping through my bones. I pretended it didn't happen. I had stuff to do. But the look on her face. I knew I was in trouble. The nerve pain was what I'll never forget. And the blood. And the chewed up bone fragments. And the other stuff. Don't even know what it was. Six hour surgery to reattach. Skin graphs. A pin stuck down one of my fingers like a shish ka bob to hold it on. Hundreds on stitches. I was on the transplant floor a week. Unfortunately, my doctor handled my case negligently to say the least. He was cruel and abusive and then refused treatment during the most crucial time in my rehab over an error in his office. Resulting in permanent damage to me. It's been over a year and my bone is not connected and bends every time it's touched and is grossly deformed and in horrible pain and at extreme risk for being severed. No other doctor will touch his mistake. I've lost the use of my hand. And even worse is the whole tragedy sent my fibro into a spiral. I'm practically bedridden. I've lost my business. I'm broke. I'm depressed. I sick. I'm in horrible pain. I'm in absolute misery. I don't even want to live anymore.

Apr 03, 2015 10:13 AM

Oh betrayedby, you've really been health a horrible deck! Have you considered a lawyer to sue that doctor? Is there any way to get assistance while you wait on disability? I'm sending hugs your way(...) Anytime you need to talk, cry, vent or brag, we're all here for you. 🙏🌼

Apr 03, 2015 11:17 AM

Betrayed by I am so sorry that you are having such a horrible experience with your Dr. I am with Flappsy about trying to get some kind of assistance while you are applying for Disability. Will keep you in my prayers.

Apr 03, 2015 2:29 PM

In my experience you have TWO years to bring a lawsuit against a doctor. You are coming close to the deadline. Call every malpractice attorney you can. Every attorney even the scum suckers that are blow holes on TV. You have to protect your future. I understand most of us are not the suing kind BUT protect your future and that of your children. I understand being depressed and having everything spiral out of control. I am very sorry that you are having to go through this but you cannot give up. Do anything you have to. You cannot accept what this doctor did and let him get away with ruining your future. AFTER you take care of finding a thirsty attorney, you need to go to a Major City that has an exceptional medical university and there you will find help. That is something they are fantastic at. Best of luck. Please keep us updated. In regards to disability you could wait two years or longer. OFTEN longer. Can you really afford to wait?

Apr 03, 2015 2:31 PM

I also send my heart felt sympathy. You have far more problems than any one person should have to contend with! Please be sure to find strength and understanding from all of us here. I have never found a better group of people so understanding and sympathetic to the pain and frustration we all go through. Some more than others as with your situation. These people though have a better understanding and genuine concerns for each other. Please any time you need to have someone to talk to bring it to us and we are glad to offer what advice and concern for you and your well being! There is always someone who cares so draw strength and comfort from us and don't feel alone! We care!

Apr 03, 2015 7:22 PM

It sounds like you need to suck it up and get welfare. Your kids qualify you. You'll get money to pay your bills, health insurance, food stamps. Your health insurance will help you get a therapist to talk with and help you deal with things in your head.

And sue that dick of a doctor.

And I still say, let your daughter go to her Dad's. You have enough on your plate. And I'm not talking out my ass, I let my daughter go live with her loser dad. Twice. But she got enough tastes that she admitted she never wanted to go again.

Apr 04, 2015 7:55 AM

Thanks for all your feedback. I actually had an appointment with an attorney today. He thinks I have a good case. But I ran it by him because I was afraid to run it by a big guns attorney since I seem to have such bad luck. Like I'm being forced out of my 5 year lease in my business because the owner sold out to developers. And as usual, I don't have a case. Despite only being 2 years in and putting $60,000 of lease hold improvements into the building. After my accident, I defaulted twice on my payments, so now I legally can't fight them. My point is my fight with my doctor and the hospital will be huge. It doesn't get much bigger than Mayo Clinic. So, now that the dime a dozen attorney gave me a little hope, I'm going to go find the top dog attorney to see if I really have a case. And it gets even more complicated with my daughter. My ex and I adopted her and her twin brother at birth to an addict. They were both born addicted to meth. As you know, they have no room for stupid experimentation with drugs with their genetic history. Another reason I'm afraid to let her go to her dads. His gf overdosed last year and died. His son from his first marriage is an addict. And ironically, he tells my twins I'm a drug addict because I take pain meds. He says I'm no different and honestly is too ignorant to grasp that I have a RX from a doctor for a medical condition. I'm not scoring drugs on the street illegally. He even kidnapped them once when I was in ICU from a kidney infection that had gone systemic and gave them to a religious freak woman to raise and they proceeded to tell them I was in the hospital because I was a drug addict and was going through rehab. That woman told my twins so many horrible lies about me it was unreal. Stupid me thought she was helping my ex care for them I was in the hospital. I bought her a gift to give her and then come to find out when I got out there was no intent to give them back and they had told them I didn't want them anymore. That woman was a mother herself. You would think she would know coming between a mother and her children is a volatile mistake. The scary thing is - this is who my ex is. This is what he does. Since I'm losing my biz I'm actually considering packing us up and moving away from him. I just am so overwhelmed. I have to say between my crazy medical issues and my biz and my crazy ex I've been going insane and it's not really something I can talk about with people. I really appreciate that I've been able to share on here and not be judged. My life sounds like a joke.

Apr 05, 2015 10:19 PM

I dorsnt sound like s joke it sounds like a nightmare! I am so sorry you are being tested so every time you turn around. Honestly if nothing else is holding you or your kids to where you are maybe relocating isn't such a bad idea. Do you have family or friends snywhere? Anywhere you've always wanted to go? Maybe not going more than say 4/5 hr drive from where you are now, that is if none of the other things apply, would be smart so you aren't too far to go back when you need to for the case you will be involved in. You will be suing this doctor and the Mayo Clinic right? I don't care who they are or what the reputation what happened to you is inexcusable. Maybe more so because of the reputation they enjoy and you need to bring it to light not just for yourself and your family monetarily but for other patients who risk the same experience by trusting him. If patients like you don't come forward, well think of how many people could end up like you. Even settling a lawsuit at least alerts his colleagues and insurers to his incompetence. Good for you for reaching out too. You may be in a bad place and feel discouraged but you are taking care of yourself and therefore taking care of your kids by reaching out and sharing, strangers or not your sharing. Good for you! Keep up the good work you will be back on the right track before you know it! Which is not to say it will be easy but think of the lessons your kids are learning. 👍

Apr 05, 2015 10:54 PM

It sounds like your ex is a peice of work. I think if at all possible I would pick somewhere that I have family and I would pick up my kids and leave.Or like Lymie said if there is a place you have all ways wanted to live and I would sell everything I didn't need and take off, as you have sole custody I wouldn't even tell him that y'all were leaving.Does your children have cell phones? Good luck with the other attorney, I hope he gives you good news. Will be praying for you.

Apr 10, 2015 1:53 AM

Thank you all so much again for letting me vent. Today was very hard, since it was my last day of my business. Vacated the property. Turned in my car dealer's license. Canceled my city business license and squared up with the IRS...and sent my remaining inventory to the auto auction. I'm no longer a dealer. It's sent me into a deep depression. It's my identity. I loved my career. Now it's gone along with my health. No, I have no family. I've started looking into a place to relocate. Not sure how I will afford it. Not sure about a lot of things. 😩

Apr 10, 2015 6:14 AM

Betrayedby, I know it must be very hard for you. It took me 4 years to realize I will never work again in my field of work. Every job I've ever done requires a sharp mind, which I no longer have. I'm praying for God to guide you to a new location and to help you get set up financially. God has carried me many times, when all I could do was trust Him, and He'll do the same for you. I'm also asking Him to bring a change to your daughter's behavior, for improvement. (((Hugs to you))) 🙏🌼

Apr 10, 2015 11:14 AM

Betrayed I wish that I could help you. Like Flappsy said trust God to see you thru, he will just stay strong in your faith. He has brought me thru things before. You know the saying it's always darkest before the dawn, and when one door closes a window opens. This is so true. Have you had any luck with the lawyer that you talked with? I think I might sell everything except my clothes and kids clothes, beds, and mimum of plates, silverware, pots and pans,and linens. Everything else sell. May you can get enough to get y'all relocated somewhere that the kids will be safe from the influence of their father. Keeping you in my prayers.

Apr 14, 2015 12:55 PM

Prayers and good wishes being sent to you.

Apr 14, 2015 4:13 PM

Dear betrayed by,

I am sorry that you feel that you don't want to live anymore. I've been there many times. I'm sorry that you went through the situation that you went through. Like some have said I would sue the doctor. It sounds like you have a good case. Just an idea, you may have thought about it already. You sound like a very smart woman. But if you were just trying to see doctors in the same area that they may all be looking out for each other. I have found that with the problem that I'm having, I am using a university hospital that is using one medical file. The problem I'm having, they're saying that my problem is delusional despite me having pictures as evidence. So I have gone to some of the specialist and they look at the same file and they spend like four minutes with me and tell me the same thing. I know that you're just keeping the same idea without even doing that examination. They look out for each other. My suggestion, and you might already be doing this, maybe you need to go to some doctors a distance away.

I know your situation seems hopeless to you. I have been there. I am there. I don't know about your faith in God. But I went to church this weekend. It talked about not imagining the terror and worse case scenarios but to focus on the good faith, the hope of what's ahead in the future, prayer. The thing about prayer is that it said it's like a sweater when your cold. When you're cold you put on a sweater but if you continue to be cold you put on another sweater and so on and so on. They say prayer is the same thing. That you need to keep on continuing praying for the same thing until you get the help you need. Things we can pray for our for comfort, peace, wisdom to help solve the problems we have so we can find the help we need, and hope, and a better relationship with God which is key.

I'm not trying to put religion Down throat. It's interesting they say that people who have religion with chronic health problems seem to handle things a little better. That they feel better. That was just a study from a medical journal I read.

The one thing that I read from your note is this. You have had many tests in your life. You have come through a lot of adversity. The abuse from your husband. Just different struggles. I can tell you're strong. You said that you built a business. You are smart. A lot of people can't do that. So instead of giving up, it sounds like unlike many people, and I am not saying that this may not be the hardest thing in your life, but that you may be very strong and weather this situation more than the average bear. You sound like A superhero. That's what I got your note. With the idea of a lawsuit and care from another doctor. I would get a huge spiral notebook and go around and collect your records from all doctors and hospitals. Tell them you are bringing them to a specific doctor and most times they will give them to you for free. Get copies of your X-rays, CT scans, MRI and other test like bone scans on CD so other docs can see progression. Make sure you get complete surgery records of procedure. You probably thought of this. I did this and it helped with that problem.

I hope I don't that sound insensitive. That is not my wish. It just sounds like you are strong person. Way stronger then me. And I went through a very very similar situation like you. Except most of my foot came off except veins and skin. I went through like 10 surgeries and infections. At one time I have a 3/4 inch deep hole about about an inch wide in my ankle where it was cut through with and infection that my doctor kept on saying it's alright. I was so worried I was going to get a bone infection. I had to go to a wound care clinic on my own to get it healed.

Most of all I want to say, I am sorry you are dealing with this. I am so sorry that you were going through this much or any pain, so much pain. Nobody, deserves this. I hope that you can,, get some relief. Some days I just wish to get a few hours every couple days. I hope to rejuvenate me. I'm taking a new medicine for me Called Cymbalta. Everyone has heard it by now. It is made as an antidepressant and pain relief and it is helping me better than the narcotics. So I hope that you find your relief. I hope that you were having a better day today. And I offer my best wishes. My prayers are with you. Dan

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