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Wish I could just do it

Apr 05, 2017 11:03 AM

My Tree left yesterday eve, now I'm like a list animal with no parent alone in Forrest.... Like I'm walking around with no appendages, I stopped crying last night after I knew he was to his place safe, but I'm lost... I wanna do art, that's my thing every morning g we wake up make our tea and we sit at art station art away... Lol for as long as my body will let me, I just can't get there today I want I do I missed therapy my therapist forgave it because I was with Tree he felt that was a very good excuse to miss treatment I laughed I couldn't agree more.... I still may be sick n shitty but he helps make it better his love, he takes care of me shit he trys take care me from Orlando 3 hours north and he still gives it very thing... I get good morning message most times good night but think we both just pass out so it's ok..... It feels so hard tho when he visits then leaves I kinda know how our men n woman in armed forces feel in a way 😧... Any way I really wanna move it doart but this weights heavy I'm just not sure todays gonna happen... I keep trying but 😢😢😢.... Sigh I hate depression mixed with all my other bullshit I get down takes a fortress to get me back up πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘

Apr 05, 2017 11:17 AM

That has to be so hard for you. Am so glad he was able to come home for a bit but understand the emotional roller coaster of his leaving. (Army Brat here)

I wish I knew what to say to give you That motivational spark. (((hugs))) I would give it to me too. Some days it's ok to say that you need a vacation from life. As long as you keep trying to get that motivation to get back to your wonderful art and living.

Apr 05, 2017 5:15 PM

I love yea mizz MIMIKAY u'r special lady... It be ok takes me a few days get use to alone and so forth but I got my babys and ok this is a long story but a GODDAMN GOOD ONE!!! settle in kids I'm gonna tell you bout how my Tree continues to buy me orchids whenever he can many have died in this quest, lol learning I'm obsessed with orchids everything about them u know that but he saw at store one day this little lonely orchid he said was on sale for 5.00 bucks if any body can make it grow u can my love!!!! Now this orchid was n dirt this is first for me never seen em in dirt cuz there basically air plants lol so it threw me off I still have to take it to orchid man talk to him about it because it's special some how like my morning glorys n leafy plant are my gramm are attached that spirit to them I guess our love went into that plant... I said. More then once while watering that things gonna die.... On our Anniversary he couldn't be here march 23 we made 3 years... That day I went out to water and his Orchid had Buds 5 BUDS I FREAKED OUT!!! IT WAS A SIGN THAT TREE WAS WITH NE EVEN THO HE COULDNT BE!!!! I WAS SOOOO EXCITED.... he called me Thurs last week saying he coming Sunday for a visit we hadn't seen each other almost two months, he usually comes I get like two days split one whole day part night he gets here before he leaves... It's getting harder watch him go.. After crying for four hours the other day I saw some thing out side thru curtain was odd I had to go look out side... When I open the curtain scanned I SAW WHITE 😱😲😲WHITE NOTHINGS WHITE!!! GO OUT THERE HIS IRCHID BLOOMED THE DAY HE KEFT HERE... AND ITS THE MIST UNIQUE MIST BREATH TAKING STRIKING ORCHID I EVER SEEN EVVVVVER!!! SO I AM GONNA DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO KEEP TREE ALIVE LOL GOSH DANG ITS GORG... HERES ONE PIC...

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