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Wooooo what a week

Oct 17, 2015 7:14 PM

Trying to be upbeat about things. But as we all know these illnesses take a toll on our loved ones and many norms just don't understand how pain can make it impossible for someone to do something they find easy peasy.

To the marrow of my situation. I have fibromyalgia, chemical sensitivity, toxic encephalitis, spondylitis, intersistial cystitis (bladder disease for which i just had an operation/procedure on) and some other stuff i am blanking on.

Right now I'm in day two of recovery from a 40 minute procedure that was done on my bladder and is experimental treatment. Because of the fibro my recovery time is different than most ppl. Norms get a week, I take about two weeks. Okay so I'm good with that. But my boyfriend has decided the day before my surgery that I no longer hold any domain over our place. It's not our place anymore, it's his. He told me to get the eff out the night before my surgery. And then he said that he didn't mean it. But everything else he's saying and doing says otherwise.

For example, he went OFF on me today because I asked him to pick up milk and bread while he was buying cat food (which by the way in the 6 months we've been together despite my getting sicker and sicker from going shopping is the FIRST time I've asked him to pick up groceries). He shouted, "well you knew you were having surgery so why didn't you do all this before your surgery?"
Uh that would be because I have been too ill to drive!! And he knew this. But I calmed myself down before answering and said something innocuous.

Anyway, this is our 3 rd argument about my illness not being his responsibility (yet keeping the house clean and picking up after him, his son, his dog and our cats is all on me and is my responsibility). I am looking back and seeing things that point to him wanting me to be the bad guy because he wants to think of himself as the good guy who sacrificed all this for a woman who was too ill to drive etc etc etc.

I don't know if I'm making any sense.

Bottom line is he has been ignoring me for the last two months, I stuck through it because i thought maybe it was just a bad time. And we talked about it, it got better for a few weeks. Then i had to have surgery and that was a big brouhaha. and now he's just going to belittling me and ignoring me. And then he's nice to me for a little while before the ignoring and belittling begins again.

I can't take it anymore. I never thought I'd be in this position with him. And especially not while recovering from surgery. But I am packing my bags. I'm leaving the man i love because i know i have to for my health.

I am not one to run from my responsibility or to run the minute things get tough. But my health has become an issue (and something that he has started using as heavy artillery in arguments). My health is becoming negatively impacted by the man whom I love.

Did my blind dedication to this man get me here? Will I always be with men who claim they love me for me only to find out that is my cooking and housekeeping that they are really after.? Things that i cannot do on a regular basis?

Okay end of pity party. But hey who can't live the irony? Just had surgery and get to move back to a place where I am wanted by one person but unwanted by another. Hahaha. At least i know they have to love me as they are my parents. Hahaha.

Is there anyone out there who has any words of wisdom? I'm lost. But yet I feel the most peaceful i have all month.

Oct 17, 2015 7:24 PM

Wow, stress on top of stress! I think you're very strong to put up with not being supported by someone you love. But you must put your health first, especially when your partner isn't supportive. Best of luck and gentle {{hugs}} to you!

Oct 17, 2015 7:45 PM

Take care of you. We all know we have to advocate for ourselves in the Dr's office. The same for our relationships which is harder because our most precious organ is involved our heart. But let your brain reread your post as if it were your friend posting. Does that sound like love to you?

Oct 17, 2015 9:36 PM

Kitty26, it sounds like the relationship was really one-sided; you loved him but he only loves what you can do for him or his... I'm sorry you're having this added stress. But you need to focus on yourself right now. You need to not have to be subjected to emotional or verbal stress from him. Focus on your recuperation.

Speaking as a parent of adult children (& from experience) it's hard for parents to suddenly have an empty nest, get use to it, and then have a child move back home. It may be more heartbreak you're having to come home because things didn't work out, instead of one of your parents not wanting you there. It's not going to be easy for them or you. But know that deep down your parents want what's best for you. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. (((Hugs))) 🙏🌼

Oct 17, 2015 9:45 PM

Sounds like you are better off without him!! Gentle hugs!

Oct 18, 2015 7:44 AM

Thank you all. My dad has really changed since I got with this seemingly really good guy. So i think things at home will be different. I will start helping around the house when I can and really make a difference. I know I'm loved and cherished at my parents house. I can't really say the same here.

The hardest part?? Is when he belittled me and then he comes home and is all of a sudden nice to me. Classic manipulator move. One of my friends told me that love isn't enough. And this kind of love isn't enough.

Absurdly the very hardest part is having an animal involved. One that I have done everything for, despite our agreement that he would split the responsibility, vet bills etc (did i already say this?)

Equine, I know you're right. You're absolutely right. If a friend of mine told me this, I would tell her to get her stuff and get the H-E double hockey sticks out of there.

I guess because I'm such an analytical person, I want to know what went wrong. But after I get to safety.

Advice question, how does one tell a volatile person she's leaving with what he thinks is his cat? I am no fan of dear John letters. I'm also not a fan of telling someone something right before they go to work. Nor am i a fan of hurting others. But the old airplane analogy works here.

But I feel like the best thing to do is gather the cats and my art and leave. And put it to him as if we are in dire need of space.
My only worry is trying to find someone to help move my TV because I'm not leaving anything of value behind. No telling what he may do (or what his sociopath son may do).

So I'm asking for advice but I guess it's one of two choices. Neither of which I'm a fan of. But since he's not a fan of confrontation, maybe leaving him a letter would be better than waiting for him to get off work and telling him I'm leaving or rather I've already left just wanted to wait around and tell you to your face that I've taken "our" cat. And you can see our cat if you sign this paperwork that you'll take her to vet, she'll not be exposed to the son who abuses her, Yadda Yadda.

I'm scared.
Not of leaving.
Of his reaction.

Thank you everyone for giving me your opinion. I know I'm long winded but I am stressing. I'm not sleeping. I am in pain. And I'm afraid of retaliation.
Big hugs all around.
I had more to say to you Flappys and you, cranky and luvs but my brain is falling asleep.

Here's to hope, friendship, and safety that promotes wellness in our hearts 💕 💕 💕
And to the people who understand that relationships are partnerships. Even friendships are partnerships of a sort. Thank you

Oct 18, 2015 8:19 AM

Bottom line is just leave his sorry butt after he goes to work take your stuff and leave even if you have to have one of your friends not his do the moving for you I'm sorry there are men like this in the world I normal don't comment but your I'm my C.M.P family

Oct 18, 2015 9:19 AM

Kitty, you need to take care of you. From reading your post it seems there has been a pattern of him doing this to you and then finally after a chat, he started trying to mind his Ps and Qs and now is off in a tangent again. He is trying to play the martyr in that he is "taking care of you and everything else because you're ill" and he's doing the typical male thing of getting nasty and starting arguments instead of talking about what he is afraid of or what is bothering him. (Sorry guys, I know you're not all like that). I think the ranting about groceries came from his fear of you going for surgery. Worrying if you were going to be ok and since it's an experimental treatment, would you get better or could it do more harm. I'm certainly NOT giving him an excuse, just trying to figure out where his head could be. I am glad that you can move back with your parents. I know it's not what you want to be doing but thank God you have somewhere to go in a pinch. I am sure your boyfriend loves you, I am also pretty sure there are other things at play in his head making him be the jerk that he's being. Perhaps while you are away from him, he will realize how much he does love you and make changes to have you come back and be a family again (so I would save the kick in the bits in the way out the door for later... LOL!!!) I'm not in ANY way making light of your situation. Perhaps while you're at your folks you will come to some realizations that perhaps this relationship has been not so good for a while and that it's better being over. Perhaps, it will be the other way around. The main thing is that you take care of you!! Know you're never alone and that you take whatever time your body needs to heal and recover. You have this wonderful, zany, loving and understanding family right here... We will not be leaving you for any reason and you will always get the support you need from people who understand because we live it just as you do. So, have a pity party, scream, complain, laugh, cry, vent, this is the place for it because we ALL do it and we ALL get it. Sending you {{{{Hugs}}}} and prayers that you feel better soon and find some clarity on the situation with your boyfriend. Remember I have two ears to listen, two arms to hug you and two shoulders (even though they're bad) for you to cry on. Hang In there, things will get better. One day at a time, one moment at a time of you need. Just know that there are many folks who care about you.💕🙏🏻🌻

Oct 18, 2015 11:10 AM

Kitty, my Sister is going through the same thing with her husband. He would be sweet as pie one minute and then its like he flipped a switch and he became verbally abusive and physically to her and the kids (2 of them are special needs) she had finally had enough and kicked him out and told him she wanted a divorce and kicked him out. Well the next day her car broke down and he found out and he called and said I'm going to come fix it. He has no car mind you. So he walked 50 miles to the house to fix her car after she told him no she had some to come fix it. Now he won't leave and is acting as if nothing ever happened. But she has a plan and he don't know it because if he finds out he will become physically abusive to her and the kids. You can't let him know your leaving or where your going. You need to be able to heal without the constant stress. I said all that because I care and I don't want anything to happen. You'll be in my prayers and look out for you! 😘💕🙏

Oct 18, 2015 3:34 PM

Eddie, Alwayz, Mopa, I needed to hear every every word that y'all have written. I have now to say but am getting a migraine and the pain is really starting to set in from the surgery.

I am ever so grateful to have this wonderful, zany family here that supports me. It means ever so much to me.

Every word was exactly what i needed to hear, especially about not saying anything and the whole being mean one minute and nice the next.

And as to explaining his behavior, it's something i have explored but I will have to explain more in detail when my migraine & pain aren't scrambling my brain. (Haha that was almost poetry)

Lots of love to you all. Thank you. I don't feel that itty bitty bit of guilt i felt for not saying anything. (I also got the comment today wholly he was playing nice guy that i look better than i did the last time I had surgery..... Uuuuh I was out and about doing stuff after my surgery last time (shouldn't have been but it wouldn't have gotten done if not). And the only reason he's saying that is ti get on my good side. Because i surely feel like a professional football team had practice kicking in my bladder and back and skull......

Okay lol more later about the explanation as to why he behaved and treated me that way. You could be correct. And in a way I know you are, but when he came home he said sorry he just doesn't like being sprung with having to pick up more than one thing...... Which basically translates to me that even though shopping makes me very ill, I would never be able to spend upon him to help with that. (and this has happened before and i explained it away with the worried of my illness and the stuff that he had going on with his family but when I heard those words i just couldn't believe my ears. After all that one done and sacrificed my health for.... Yeah, I promised i would never sacrifice my health for anyone way before he and I got together..... But thats exactly what I'm doing. Even physically, this place is unhealthy for me.....

Okay for real in signing off now to try and take care of this migraine with ice and medicine. Big hugs.

I really can't tell you guys thank you enough. Because I've been sitting over here freaking out because he's being nice to me and acting like be wants to spend time with me for the 1st time in 4 weeks (before that it was a week in 8 weeks that he pretends to be interested in being "present" in my life.) and before that were the blissful 3 months where everything was awesome because he was pretending to not be selfish....

Ah love. Ah life. Thank you Good for friends who tell it like it is. That's what i need in my life. Y'all are awesome. Keep being this awesome, honest family of loving, supportive people. 💕💕💕💕💕

Oct 18, 2015 5:39 PM

I was in a domestic abusive relationship for two years (mentally to me and physical to my kids) My x-husband was a techie genius, controlling, hot tempered and jealous. He got all my passwords, read my emails replied some on my behalf. But he "loved" me. Tried to threaten me with police and taking kids away from me. So I stayed. He would leave mad only to come back apologizing and promises it wouldnt happen again. I believed him. He told me I was crazy everyday. He said I needed counseling. It backfired. They gave me the tools to get out and be safe. It tooks months of prepping. But when the time was right and I was mentally strong enough. I booted him out. And was stalked and threatened. But I began to do the ground work for a restraining order. And by then he finally faded away. That was nine years ago and this is the first on-line group I have joined. I have been too afraid of him cyberstalking me. Kitty be careful. Maybe your boyfriend is reading this now.

Oct 19, 2015 2:50 AM

I game been thinking about that. I was stalked for 3 years by one guy i dated for a short while. He and i weren't even official but... Anyway I didn't post about this until after days and days of thinking about it (posting that is). I assume that he is. But he's the sort who when he's not playing video games, he's sleeping or texting (very secretly lately), or he's working.or he's reading about how video game or watching YouTube videos about his precious game.
As far as he knowing my handle, or email he doesn't. But since the blowup, I have locked my phone. (honestly I think he is cheating emotionally on me and that is why he is behaving this way. That and he has an addiction to his escape from reality that his beloved video game gives him. So much so that every along moment is spent on it. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with video games, just as there is nothing wrong with any hobby so long as you don't use it as a crutch. That's not the issue here tho.)

Your description of your ex fits the man who is currently sleeping next to me to a T. Getting angry and then being kind & caring after. I have been there done that. Thank you for reminding me of this behavior. I saw it but didn't want to "see'". ( I feel like a bad person for deciding all this while he is under the same roof. As he is sleeping next to me. But I realize now that I am doing the right thing. But as the time comes closer, I feel sick bc of fear of retaliation)

The funny/not funny thing is that I have to leave my tv behind. Before I was really sick i could care less about a TV. But now I worry that he'll "accidentally" knock it off the dresser and the wall to which it is mounted. Because he has a temper. And I've only had. Tastes of this temper. I want no more

My best friend has reminded me that i must do what is for my best interest in safety. And to think i nearly told him something that would make me vulnerable. I am trying to figure out a way to get my tv . I'm determine to not leave anything of value behind. Because according to his track record & his own admission, he has a long line of women waiting for a "nice guy" like him.

I was going to wait until he got offwork & tell him face to face that I needed a break or that I was going to go recover at my parents house. But i think because of his volatility, I am going to have to do one of two things, call him (looking more and more unlikely bc of his temper ) or land him a note. (can't wrote a letter because chances are he won't read it all.) I don't like either of those options.

But safety first.

My biggest concern my health and getting my things together in two days (one day where he won't be able to really tell that I've moved a lot) and then I am not even speed to be moving or lifting anything.

I know God never gives us more than we can handle but for the first time in a long time I'm actually afraid of a man. After what i saw the night before my surgery, I should have gotten my dad to help me with my clothes and the cats and gotten out of there. And then after this, I'm going to need someone on call.

The last time I felt this way was when I had that stalker. Awesome.

Here's what I can control, getting my belongings and praying for God to send me someone who can help so iI can get all my belongings.

Oct 19, 2015 3:04 AM

Firstly he sounds like a real prick and clearly unworthy of such a goddess so to hell with him. You are in the biggest fight of your life and he acts like a 4 yr old. My suggestion would be to take photos of your belongings as they sit and when you do decide to leave and take them get the police to come with you. Better safe than sorry. I wish we could all come do the t.v for you. Take the cat first and tell him it ran away lol He wants a mother not partner and what he wants is unrealistic and unfair to put on you. None of us have asked for what we have been unfairly dealt with but we all are fighters and worthy of odin's army. Keep your chin up and safe lovely lady. Will be thinking of you. Gentle hugs mate xxxx

Oct 19, 2015 3:26 AM

Thank you so much for your support and kind words, fallen. You're right about taking pictures.

And i think i can get the tv. I just have to convince my dad to take time off his office hours. Or I'll find a way.

But the most important thing is that the cats are safe. And I'm safe. I just don't want to leave the tv behind in case he decides to change the locks and hold the tv as collateral until i give him the cat back.

Which despite the fact that i invested my disability back pay into this tv as i would not buy another tv for the rest of my days if i could help it.

It wouldn't make sense for him to hold onto the tv since I paid for everything for the cat and don't trust him to take it to the vet or at the very least even make sure good son doesn't kill it worth a headlock

(I do not exaggerate, I've seen the kid throw stuff at the cats, elbow them, put the kitten in a headlock and i am an animal rescuer, I do not take animal cruelty lightly). most of all in worried that he'll (the boyf) behave impetuously and contaminate my belongings with air fresheners and fragrance to which I'm highly sensitive to and exposures andsend me into a downward spiral.

But who knows maybe he'll take the high road and be too busy with his video games to take vengeance.... Uh wait who the heck am i kidding? How handle on gaming system has to do with vengeance and getting back at people is what he does best he told me the other day while we were discussing something seemingly innocuous..... . I think the moment i tell my dad All that he might be willing to cancel his office hours

Oct 19, 2015 3:36 AM

Some mother's do have em and he sounds like a real prize. I can't talk. My ex husband was a nasty piece of work and it took me 12 years to get away from him. Unfortunately we share a kid who is a wonderful kid. He just sees me when he sees her. Make sure you have cops and dad and any other brutish man or woman you know. Don't let him know that he worries you. It will make him insane to know he has no control over your life.

Oct 19, 2015 7:16 AM

Like what is more important than you life to you the key word is your safety u don't need to leave a note tell him u left he will see that your gone get your cats and go bont look back , maybe tomorrow you can get the police to meet you to get the rest of the stuff you need out rember you are more importance that piece of crap that loser is be safe

Oct 19, 2015 8:13 AM

Kitty, don't feel Bradley about making plans to get out while he is soundly sleeping next to you. Your safety is the most important thing in the world. When he goes to work, get what you can, get to your folks house and then make a report to the police about what has happened and why you left and that you fear him. Have them go with you to pick up whatever you can't get. It's not worth setting back your recovery to get the tv before you go. Take a short video and note the date and time of the video and show the tv so you have proof that it's intact and undamaged. This way, when you do go back with the police, if there is anything wrong with it, you have proof that he (or his son) broke it. Also, they may grant you a temporary restraining order until you can get a permanent one. As soon as they know you are In fear of your physical safety, they will help you. I will be praying for you and sending positive vibes your way that everything goes smoothly. Eddieray is right, you don't need to text, call or leave a note. It will be more than apparent when he comes home and you and your belongings are gone that you've left him... Let him hook up with one of the other women that he says are waiting in the wings for "a nice guy". Believe me, if he is the way he is, it won't last long. Maybe your Dad can take off from work and get you, the cats and your TV and then you don't have to worry about going back. This guy deserves a good swift kick in the nuts and I would love to give it to him!!! Sending you {{{{Hugs}}}} and know that this family will always be here for you to listen, advise or just support you. Hang in there, everything has a way of working out. 💕🙏🏻🌻

Oct 19, 2015 8:25 AM

I'm half asleep because joint pain kept me up. Evidently my father doesn't want me at home and had convinced my mother to convince me that we should wait it out until my mom and i can go look at houses. Omg. Really? I know it makes logical sense. Mostly bc of my post surgical recovery and now I'm having severe joint pain, so badly that i can't even sleep on my side. Not even sleeping pills can make me sleep through the pain of the joints. I finally at 7 this morning (an hour ago fell asleep after he went to work....). I am falling asleep as i write this.

I will tell the details of my story soon. But it is really difficult to find a friend who doesn't use air fresheners, perfumes etc to the max. It's the world we live in. It's even harder to find safe housing. Air fresheners, etc and chemicals male me really sick, affecting my neurological system from my brain too my feet and often stopping by my bladder to wreak havoc of unnamed proportions. My dad is smoking something and my mother must be getting a contact high
Because my mom knows how difficult it is to find a place for me to live is. I mean i spilt never game stayed here at my bf house when my hair started falling out. But i thought mentally safe was better than physically because I needed a mentally safe place. Hahaha the irony. Oh my goodness.

I think my dad REALLY doesn't want me to live with them. I guess he thinks i can afford anything on my SSI & SSDI ha. Ha ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Too tired to comprehend what my mother is asking me to do. Our even what the heck is going on. (I wouldn't prefer to use stronger language but i don't want to offend anyone).

Going to try to distract myself to sleep.

Big hugs and lots of love

Oct 19, 2015 8:46 AM

Kitty.. I wish that I lived near you because I would do my very best to help you through all the crap. I can't believe that your Father and Mothet would rather you stay somewhere that you are in danger of mental and physical harm than to let you come and stay with them. I can't tell you how that infuriates me. I understand the language part because I'm trying not to swear myself but it's such bullshit that I can't wrap my head around it. I hope you do get some sleep. Remind me again where you are from, Kitty. (Fibro Fog) I can't remember. We will all have to put our heads together and find a solution to your situation. One that we know you will be safe and not have to worry about him stalking you. Sending hugs and prayers your way!!💕💕❤️💕💕

Oct 19, 2015 9:24 AM

Aw, thank you sweetheart. It kind of gets me too because I've always been able to all for help from my parents. My mom mostly. My mom, brother & I have so many secrets from my dad.

But thats really beside the freaking point. I asked my mother days before I realized this would be coming into fruition and the father figure must have agreed! Now he's taking his word back and leaving me here while they go to my cousins wedding which if i were healthier and could breathe around fragrances and didn't just have surgery i would be going to!

But the fact is that I have to sleep next to him and feel like I'm being judged for the next who the hell knows how many more weeks. And this week his son comes over which is like an atom bomb walking around in a body who has no empathy for others. Therefore I have to lock myself away until the child decides is time to go bathe (his mother knows fragrances need me up big time do she bathe him in the most fragrant soaps and had even introduced him to colognes after I came into the picture. (she even had the nerve to tell the bf that their son doesn't thing is fair that he can't wear his cologne for the 4 days out the month that he's here. And that is unreasonable for me to ask anyone else to do so. {uhhhhh as if i want anyone to hand to go out of their way for me! But I'm not going back to the days where i suffer in silence and then end up bedridden for days or months or the worst time for over two years from beinbeing stubborn and working in a place where i was exposed to many chemicals and fragrances.... I digress)

So Yay. I have to lock up all the animals as well.

Now that I'm awake I'm really freaking out about this.
Do i want to move in a moments notice? Hell, no.
Is it safe here? See the answer to last question.
If i play it cool, maybe things won't be so bad. I just won't rock the boat. Only thing is.... He is going to know something is up because when i cats, I fought (not literally always) for what was right. But now I'm just giving him the cold shoulder which is so not me. But he gives it to me all the time so why should it matter. Omg is because I'm scared of his ire. I've been here before but it was always my place & I could tell them "be gone''
Live in Louisiana.
If my aunt and uncle weren't so attached to their site freshener and there weren't people there allergic to cats, I would call and beg to sleep in their spare room. My cousin is going to make up a room for me when they (site and her husband) move out of my aunt and uncles but that's a whole from now.
Omg the reality. I cannot believe father figure is throwing around his weight like this. He doesn't even pay the bills and was jobless through some of the toughest times in our lives. Flat out refused to get a job when we didn't have 2 pennies to run together. (my mom didn't tell me this until later because she knew I'd make sure father figure knew that he was a f-up. Just like he did me despite the fact that i was making the president list in college and my infraction? Oh just forgetting to switch my laundry to dryer. Along with just being born. He still holds a grudge for things that happened to me that were out of my control.

End rant. I'm going to veg out and try not to freak out.

Oct 19, 2015 9:50 AM

No worries about ranting. I'm glad you're not that far.. Tell him if he gets out of line you have friend from the Bronx who's going to come down and hit him in the nuts so hard they'll get lodged in his throat!!! I wish there was more I could do for you. I can't imagine how scary it must be. Try not to stress... If you do, come here and hit me up and I'll do my best to talk you through. I would still try to put the police on alert just in case. You know your situation though,
So you do what's going to keep you safe. Sending hugs!! 💕💕🙏🏻

Oct 19, 2015 11:19 AM

Alwayz, I am so going to hit you up in the next few days. I don't know what's going on. I just don't get it!!

And he plays the nice guy so he can pull the wool over everyone's eyes. Hell, he had me fooled for 6 or 7 months. Had my parents hoodwinked. And i think part of what our is that my parents think I'm being impetuous & impulsive about this and just making this decision willy nilly. But I'm not!

I bet you that my dad has not mother convinced that it is the medication I'm on and combined with the anesthesia and that makes for a crazy, irrational, overly dramatic Kat. Raaaawr.

And they'd be wrong. This has been Conniff for a while. It's just that I hit my tipping point.

As long as I don't bother him or ask him to do anything for me, I think i can manage not to stir his ire.

You should have seen the looks he's been giving me. Today before he went to work, he gave me this ironic look as he said "get better soon". And I know some of us could day i read too much into things but i grew up in a household where everything depended ion the mood of father figure so i had to read into those looks to keep myself protected by being in the best place at the time of rage explosion. (of that makes any sense).

Alwayz, I'm going to find my password for my email, can you find it in the forum? If as some have said he's been looking into my forums, I don't want to put it in this one bc now in paranoid. And no it isn't the medicine! Lol had to go there.

Thank you for your support. I need it so much. I am exhausted. And still have to drive to the gas station to get money for Mr Gamer otherwise his ire will come out and kick my ass.

If only you, my bff from London and the other from Minnesota were all here. Ugh. And I'm so special needs, wherever i stay they have to make extreme special accommodations for me. My one friend i know i could go to is not in a place to take me. My other friend is married with two young kids and i wouldn't be able to impose upon her and her husband.
So... It was my parents or nothing. Not even a hotel in this town is fragrance free.

I can't wait til i hear what my father fed my mom.

Oct 20, 2015 3:29 AM

Well you keep me posted and like I said, I'm here whenever you need me. 💕🙏🏻🌻

Oct 21, 2015 12:39 AM

Kitty26 I'm sending you all my strength all my inter wisdom that when you get better and the time is right that you do what it takes to get the job done

Oct 21, 2015 12:56 AM

I sent you an email kitty with some links to check out.

Oct 21, 2015 2:40 AM

Thanks,y'all. This is all so difficult. I am going to concentrate on myself for the next few days, well the next two days i have time to myself until Thursday evening when the bf son comes over. And then it's no telling if we have the nice one or the angry one? Most weekends a mixture of both. But I'm "punished" to the bedroom until the kid devices to take a bath and decontaminate himself. (bc of severe allergy to fragrance kid was given fragrance free soap that his mother let him use the first two times he came over then she "lost" the soap i sent and now sprays his shoes with air freshener (makes me very sick, neurological issues too) and his bag as well.

So now he has to bathe with special fragrance free soap when he arrives and because my presence bothers both the kid and bf, I must lock myself away, coughing and having to do breathing treatments until it has been decided that is okay and time to bathe.

This is not something i ever wanted for my life or for anyone. It's something the bf doesn't understand how badly this affects my health. And that everything this survey has fixed can all be torn down with a huge exposure from fragranced son.

I'm off to check my email! Yay email! :)

Okay well maybe I'll read my book and savor the fact that i have a message on my inbox lol

Y'all are awesome. Thanks for the support

Oct 21, 2015 8:46 PM

Kitty, do you fear him hurting you? If so call a battered women's shelter or hotline. I'm praying for you. I don't understand this younger generation of men out there today. They seem to want their cake and eat it too, but not pay for it or earn it by contributing. Sorry if this offends you guys... Not intended to because I know all men aren't like that. You deserve better Kitty. I'm praying you will find the way out that is safe and very soon. Hugs & prayers! 🙏🌼

Oct 22, 2015 12:30 PM

Kitty I wondered if you got my email? Did I send it to the right address?

Oct 23, 2015 8:31 AM

Kitty, I am praying for you. I hope that when the bf son arrives it's not the total nightmare you're expecting. It's too bad that you can't stay somewhere else while the kid is there so you don't have to suffer with the intentional air freshener and cologne bullshit. Nobody should have to live like that. Believe me, if I was closer, I'd make sure there was no scents in my house and take you into my place in a NY minute!! I'm sending love {{{Hugs}}} and prayers your way. We're all here for you.💕🙏🏻🌻

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