Trying to be upbeat about things. But as we all know these illnesses take a toll on our loved ones and many norms just don't understand how pain can make it impossible for someone to do something they find easy peasy.
To the marrow of my situation. I have fibromyalgia, chemical sensitivity, toxic encephalitis, spondylitis, intersistial cystitis (bladder disease for which i just had an operation/procedure on) and some other stuff i am blanking on.
Right now I'm in day two of recovery from a 40 minute procedure that was done on my bladder and is experimental treatment. Because of the fibro my recovery time is different than most ppl. Norms get a week, I take about two weeks. Okay so I'm good with that. But my boyfriend has decided the day before my surgery that I no longer hold any domain over our place. It's not our place anymore, it's his. He told me to get the eff out the night before my surgery. And then he said that he didn't mean it. But everything else he's saying and doing says otherwise.
For example, he went OFF on me today because I asked him to pick up milk and bread while he was buying cat food (which by the way in the 6 months we've been together despite my getting sicker and sicker from going shopping is the FIRST time I've asked him to pick up groceries). He shouted, "well you knew you were having surgery so why didn't you do all this before your surgery?"
Uh that would be because I have been too ill to drive!! And he knew this. But I calmed myself down before answering and said something innocuous.
Anyway, this is our 3 rd argument about my illness not being his responsibility (yet keeping the house clean and picking up after him, his son, his dog and our cats is all on me and is my responsibility). I am looking back and seeing things that point to him wanting me to be the bad guy because he wants to think of himself as the good guy who sacrificed all this for a woman who was too ill to drive etc etc etc.
I don't know if I'm making any sense.
Bottom line is he has been ignoring me for the last two months, I stuck through it because i thought maybe it was just a bad time. And we talked about it, it got better for a few weeks. Then i had to have surgery and that was a big brouhaha. and now he's just going to belittling me and ignoring me. And then he's nice to me for a little while before the ignoring and belittling begins again.
I can't take it anymore. I never thought I'd be in this position with him. And especially not while recovering from surgery. But I am packing my bags. I'm leaving the man i love because i know i have to for my health.
I am not one to run from my responsibility or to run the minute things get tough. But my health has become an issue (and something that he has started using as heavy artillery in arguments). My health is becoming negatively impacted by the man whom I love.
Did my blind dedication to this man get me here? Will I always be with men who claim they love me for me only to find out that is my cooking and housekeeping that they are really after.? Things that i cannot do on a regular basis?
Okay end of pity party. But hey who can't live the irony? Just had surgery and get to move back to a place where I am wanted by one person but unwanted by another. Hahaha. At least i know they have to love me as they are my parents. Hahaha.
Is there anyone out there who has any words of wisdom? I'm lost. But yet I feel the most peaceful i have all month.